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Tana Marie's Monthly Romance Column and Love Tip Newsletter

By Tana Marie

The Nature of Being

If "April showers bring May flowers," do April tears guarantee May bliss? Does incessant worry now, or anytime for that matter, pave the way for problem-free tomorrows? Is the pain that pervades so many hearts become the requisite "fee" for lasting pleasure later?

Interesting questions? I hope so. I wanted to broach this subject now, because almost everyone I know, family, friends, clients and new acquaintances, are all expressing common feelings of lethargy, depression, hopelessness, fear and in too many cases, impending doom... There is an unsettled feeling that life just isn't what it "should be," not what it used to be, or not what was imagined.

What's going on? Why are these feelings pervading the hearts and minds of normally positive, upbeat, hopeful people? Yes, we can look at the "obvious" universal reasons... Tax Time, the Economy, the Real Estate Market, the War, etc. But, what I'm addressing is something deeper, more profound. People are running to stay in place, taking on more and more stuff, longer "To Do" lists, and filling every moment with noise, activity, motion... for what? At what cost?

Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles... It empties today of its strength.

Corrie Ten Boom

Are you doing more, but enjoying it less? Are your intimate and social relationships suffering in some way? Not connecting with the important, uplifting people in your life as much as you'd like? Does the phrase, "Is this all there is?" run thru your mind a little too often? If you answered yes to any of these, or similar questions, you're not alone! Oh too many are essentially filling every waking moment, and dream time too, with things, events and activities that hopefully will fill that void in their lives, that hole in their hearts.

There has been so much written throughout the ages and discussed allot lately about Doing vs Being. But what does that mean, in our 3-dimensional reality, and how does someone do more Being and less Doing?

We all live in a material Universe, and need certain physical accouterments to make being on this beautiful planet, in these wonderful bodies, safe, comfortable and sustainable. Granted. But what about the feeling, the visceral experience, of being here, enjoying life?

Many of us had it earlier in life... The delight of how a PB&J sandwich tasted, (sans the crust of course), the excitement of the first snowfall, your first kiss, wishing on a Star, knowing, with absolute certainty, that life was a Magical Journey, filled with delights at every turn, a delectable feast for the senses.

Then life happened. Most people "grew up" and lost touch with that innate connection with joy, beauty, nature, God, or their True Selves. Yes, I certainly know - from very personal experience - how life can chew you up and spit you out. I also know that we can either buy into the "reality" that life is just too crazy, too overwhelming, just too much... or we can consciously choose to get reconnected to that sense of Joy, beauty, life-force and power that exists, here and now, for everyone.

Unhappy? Let's run to the mall for the latest ____________.
Angry? How about getting even by _______________?
Insecure? Obtaining __________ or knowing _____________ will make me a special person, right?
Feeling unimportant? How about beating someone up, recording it and putting it up on MySpace - that will guarantee ALOT of attention, right?
Then I'll BE SOMEONE...
We've gotta have THAT, or get THIS, or make our mark, or... THIS WON'T WORK!

Now friends, you KNOW I am an absolute advocate of creating the life of your dreams, however I don't think selling your soul in the process is quite what the concept dictates. If you're creating something out of your JOY that will enhance the quality of life, then GO FOR IT - as long as it doesn't hurt anyone in the process. Have that amazing new car, or dream house, or any goodie your heart desires. BUT if you're getting it to "keep up with the Joneses," (WHO are the Joneses anyway???) or feel like a better person, or to "show THEM" - it WON'T fill that void. You ALREADY ARE a wonderful, deserving person, and if you've lost touch with that beautiful part of you - FIND IT now!

But, but, but...Tana Marie, I have responsibilities, a job/career, a family, obligations... I'm not asking you to DO more, just BE more. Take little steps NOW, TODAY to reacquaint yourself with that beautiful spirit residing deep in your heart. You can't change the whole world right now, but you can change the piece you're inhabiting. Events will happen 'out there' that effect you and yours, but the more connected you are to your spirit, your power, joy, the more strength you'll have to deal with whatever may come along. Keep focused on the direction you want to go, take "temperature readings" on WHY you want it, and BE GOOD TO U!

Here is a lovely article I wanted to include, because his message mirrors my thoughts beautifully.

10 Ways to Bring the Sacred into Everyday Life

By: Rabbi Irwin Kula, president of The National Jewish Center for Learning

• Leave Work Earlier Than Usual

  There is always one more phone call or one more email. Consciously stopping early once a week (at least one half-hour) affirms that we do not just live to work, but work as part of living.

• Let Go of the Work Week

  Cease doing and worrying about the work of the week. Practice gently letting go of thoughts and concerns about work that inevitably pop into mind and take over. Eventually these thoughts soften and recede. Sometimes I take a more scenic route home to help clear my mind.

• Turn It Off

  Set aside your BlackBerry, turn off your computer, set your cell phone to silent, at least as it relates to work. See how your consciousness shifts and how it doesn't. If you feel incredibly uneasy and even destabilized, you are being invited to discern new ways of taking control of your life.

• Eat a Special Meal with Family or Friends

  Taking time to reconnect to those we love expands our sense of who we are. Savoring our food (a new recipe once a week adds adventure) deepens our connection to the material world; candlelight invites us to bring forth more light from within and see beyond the surface.

• Make Love with Intention

  Take pleasure in the sensual part of life. Set aside a time to engage in some activity that creates greater intimacy with someone you love.

• Give a Blessing to a Child in Your Life

  Remember what it was like to feel genuinely blessed by an adult in your life. In a world in which children are so vulnerable, an adult's blessing is transformative and life-affirming.

• Experience the Beauty of Nature

  Take a walk or a bike ride; go for a drive or a hike. Experiencing the awe and wonder and amazement of the natural world creates a reverence for life--and gives the enlivening and ethical sense that we are each an interconnected part of such an infinite cosmos.

• Engage in a Contemplative Practice

  Find a contemplative, reflective, or centering practice that you can do regularly. This can take the form of reading from a wisdom text, listening to music that touches your soul, looking at art that engages the heart, or engaging in more traditional prayer or meditation. Try not to listen to the news.

• Laugh

  Laughter is a signal of transcendence. It reminds us that no matter what is happening in our lives, this too shall pass; it helps us to hold our absolutes humbly and keeps us from taking ourselves too seriously--all qualities that insure we can deal with whatever life throws at us.

• Express Gratitude

  Find five things for which to be grateful over the past week. Consciousness is like tofu. Its taste completely depends on what it is marinated in. When we "marinate" our consciousness in gratitude, we become more grateful people.

• Bonus Practice: Take a Nap

  Sleep restores the body, refreshes the spirit, and is the place of dreams.

Thank you Rabbi Irwin Kula for your message!

In closing, for those of you who haven't heard about Oprah's free Worldwide Web Class about Echart Tolle's book, "A New Earth," please check it out. It is truly a monumental event, not only for the content of his book, but that 2 Million + people worldwide are coming together to learn, grow and contribute to making this a better world. Go to her website, www.Oprah.com and get the info. You'll be glad you did.

This is another lovely message from my friend, Emory Michael, I thought you'd enjoy. Thanks Emory!

It is natural for human beings to long for a better future, but the irony is that we create that better future by becoming fully present in the experience of each day, of each moment. Past, present and future are linked together by a chain of causation and our future is determined by how we fill each moment now. Wise women and men know that their future harvest is determined by the seeds they plant this moment in the garden of their lives. In life's garden, we reap what we have sown. If we plant seeds of light through our loving actions in the present we will reap a bright future. Time spent in constructive thought is an exercise in future building.

Emory Michael Luminata Books & Gifts
Monterey, CA

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

Author: Charles Schultz

And one last note, to a dear, dear friend, Donna Briley, who passed away quite unexpectedly March 26th, at 58.

Donna, you always lived life to the fullest. We used to laugh about the fact that life's too short, so dance when you can, be a kid as much as possible, and eat desert first. We came up with the concept of doing all 3 at once... Donna, I KNOW you're up there dancing, with a Crème Brûlée in one hand and a bubble blower in the other. I miss you my lovely soul-sister.

Blessings
TM